I recently viewed a film that reminded me and taught me about eating disorders; it’s called “Starving in Suburbia.” It’s a fictional account and I recommend it. They did a good job of displaying the hold an eating disorder can have on one in its clutches and the destruction of that life as well as those around that person. The person becomes ill in body and mind while two desires rise up to conquer them. The desire to be thin and the desire to control become everything to one who suffers from an eating disorder.
I stopped to ponder those desires. Determining to be the right weight for one’s frame is a healthy desire. The drive to be thin is something entirely different. At the foundation it is an inaccurate view of oneself, leading to a rejection of the way they are made. Deeper, it is a rejection of the decision of the Maker in designing that person. It deteriorates into a drive to make the body over to please one’s own self.
Control is another aspect of eating disorders. Sometimes that stems from feeling helpless in the face of life’s difficulties. It can also stem simply from our innate human sinfulness. I want to tell others what to do. I want to determine the course of events! No one can tell me what to do… what to eat… how to look!
But wait. I am never truly in control; it’s only an illusion. If I were in control I’d be responsible for how things turn out. When I’m thinking straight I am deeply grateful that One who loves me enough to die for me is the One in control. God can handle the ramifications of the decisions He makes. I wouldn’t want that responsibility.
We all often are guilty of rejecting the decisions of our Maker and grasping for control. If we choose to travel that road we are left without His support in life. That’s what I viewed in the film and it made my heart ache.
I say we all often are guilty of rejecting the decisions of our Maker and grasping for control because that is what I see in my own life and in those around me – whether or not they have been born into the Kingdom of God by faith in Christ’s provision on the cross.
I chafe at the way things are going in our government. Oh, wait! God is in control. I am angry about a decision someone makes that negatively affects me. Wait, what? God is in control. I am impatient with the maturing processing of someone I love. Oh, yeah – God is in complete control of their maturing process.
I am brought back again and again – will I trust or will I reject the decisions of the Blessed Controller of all things? He does all things in love, goodness, power and wisdom. Will I rest in His control, even when circumstances are difficult? It certainly does not come naturally but when God helps me do it, I am at rest. Will I trust Him even in this thing? Even in the way He made my body?